Everyday Panic

all the panic a body can eat

  • girlfriend: (all shy) Will you do it with me?
  • girlfriend: And by "do it" I mean watch My Cat From Hell.

NOT VERY MUCH TIME LATER:

  • girlfriend: Iiiii'm a gumdrop.

("bean" is a very common pet name we use)

  • girlfriend, in sleepy distress: I don't wanna be a pumpkin!
  • me: Aww, bean.
  • girlfriend: I'm not a foodstuff!

and the prize for Literally The Worst Cold Open I’ve Ever Seen goes to Star Trek: The Next Generation “Schisms”, Season 6 Episode 5!!!

I’m a Cecil today! Too white to be my headcanon Cecil(s), but my headcanon Cecil DOES wear ridiculous skirts whenever the goddamn hell he feels like it, so I got that going for me.

when the cold gets to a point that you’re standing at the bus stop considering death

  • me: (watching a deer wander around on my Shadow of the Colossus PS3 theme) Deer butt!
  • girlfriend: (from the other room) Dear Butt, how are you? We never talk anymore.

I am still recovering from Orange Grove. As canonical as their relationship is, it still feels like a special present from Fink and Cranor just for us whenever there is any focus placed upon it. What a nice little new year’s present.